No one should have to try this hard for a retail job

I want a job at David’s Tea, but they won’t hire me.

Jenn says I’m taking this too personally, but I’m clearly the most enthusiastic person ever about working at their store. Once a company has about 3000 copies of your resume, you’d thinkthat maybe they might consider you as a dedicated and passionate employee.

Or dangerously insane, I’m not quite sure.

When I found out about the store opening in July, I started e-mailing them my resume. And I never heard back. I continued sending my resume about every two weeks. And I never heard back. When the crew came in to set up the store, I handed in a physical copy of my resume to an enthusiastic red-head named Phil. I never heard back. I stopped by one time and chatted with the employees, casually asked about open positions and the manager asked me for an on the spot interview!

And I never heard back.

But I haven’t wanted a job this badly since the days when I worked at a CD store. (Remember those?) Four years ago Liam introduced me to the world of tea beyond Tetley’s Orange Pekoe, and I’ve been in love ever since (though I still love Tetley’s Orange Pekoe). I know the ingredients that I love the most in teas, and I know what makes you feel good, or sleepy, or capable of fighting bears*. I’ve been trying to get Britannia Teas to reverse-engineer a tea I once bought in Antigonish, but am sadly running out of.

I’m wildly enthusiastic about the things that I enjoy, and customers fall in love with that, along with my big ol’ grin and pink hair. Most people find me friendly and trustworthy, and boys think I’m cute. But more importantly, anyone who has ever heard me go on and on about tea either realizes that I know my stuff; or just assumes I do and that I’m brilliant because they’ve long since stopped understanding what I’m talking about. I’m currently guiding Jenn slowly into the world of tea (with David’s Tea, might I add). I plan to eventually get her to the point where she knows slightly less about tea than I do. Because you really can’t learn more.

What I’m getting at here is that why hasn’t David’s Tea hired me yet? I’m clearly the single most qualified person in this town to work that store.

Dear David’s Tea, please hire me so that my resumes can stop killing rainforests.

You don’t really want to destroy this, do you? source

*maybe not bears, but wild rabbits at the very least.