I am the kind of person who shames bad parkers. Not directly, of course, because I’m not a fan of getting my ass kicked.
But if I see you parked over two spots,
|Via NL Parking Wars|
parked in a place that’s not a spot,
|Via NL Parking Wars|
or any other ridiculous thing,
|This is completely legit, and happened at a grocery store near my house. (Via NL Parking Wars)|
I am going to leave a nice little note on your windshield for you to find when you’re done being an entitled jerk (which will be right about the time you find my note and fill with embarrassed rage). I’m pretty sure that leaving a politely passive-aggressive note is the best way to fix this problem, because every time the offender pulls into a parking lot, that note will undoubtedly come to mind. So while muttering obscenities at me, they will park perfectly with the same attitude they would have if they were flipping me off.
So a couple of days ago, I was hunting for a parking spot at the mall, when I came to the end of a row. But I couldn’t see what was coming thanks to some SU-jeep thing that had parked on the hatched part next to the last spot. I had to creep at a snail’s pace to make sure I didn’t get mangled by something I couldn’t see. I found a parking space in the next row, so when I turned off my car I wrote one of my little notes. It politely pointed out that he wasn’t in a parking spot, and that he blocked the view of oncoming traffic. (It also may have involved the word jackass. Maybe.) I walked up to the vehicle and tried to discretely slip the note under the windshield wiper.
As I lift the arm, the wiper falls off.
After a brief moment of panic, I did what any sensible person would do; I laid the wiper back on the windshield, on top of the arm, with the note tucked neatly under it.
So now I’m a vandal, apparently. I mean, I realize that if the wiper blade just fell off the arm then it was probably already broken. But I would imagine that not only is that driver bitter at me for calling them out on their bullshit parking, but also super pissed that I dismantled their shabby wiper in the process, and is calling me things that would make vandal seem like a compliment.
The vehicle was gone when I left the mall that evening. My work here is done.